A Certain Roofer

There’s a certain roofer who used to go to Sobrenity.  He guards his anonymity pretty tightly, so I’m not even going to use his first name. 

He’s moved a bit north now, but goes to meetings up there.  I am SO thankful he was here — and had years of sobriety — when I got here.  He got sober in his mid 20’s in April of ”91 (about 4 months after Bob).

He’s a great guy, helped an uncountable number of people directly. He’s helped even more by the simple way that he talks.  One look at him is enough to know that he’s lived a rough life.  There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s an alcoholic.

Here are some of the things he says often.

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It’s my job to tell you: “You never have to drink again!”.

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One night I was driving along, and I ran into a house.  I had to go to court for that one.  The judge looked over his glasses at me and said: “Mr. M… It appears you’ve got a drinking problem!”

I told him: “No, Your Honor, it was those damn Percocets!”

Yeah, everyone in the courtroom laughed, too.  But the Judge didn’t think it was funny.  He gave me 50 hours of community service, 50 A.A. meetings, and 10 hours with a psychiatrist.  I went to the psychiartist, and the first thing he told me was: “Blow into this.”  Well, of course I’d been drinking, so I refused. 

I had to go back in front of the Judge.  He asked me why I didn’t go to my counseling sessions and I told him the truth.  I said: “Your Honor, he was Gay, and he was hitting on me!”

So he gave me 100 A.A. meetings.  I’d come here every day and get my paper signed.  It took me 2 months of coming to figure out what “Anonymity” meant.  Then I’d just get the guys at the bar to sign my sheet.

But 2 years later, almost to the day, when I was ready to quit drinking, I knew where there was a group of people who could help me.  You see?  God was already working in my life!

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It doesn’t surprise me when an alcoholic drinks.  It surprises me when one stays sober!

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I didn’t get to be this good looking by being such a nice guy that no one ever wanted to beat the living shit out of me.

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I was sitting in the jail down on Morgan Street.  For those of you who don’t know, that’s where they put you when you’re not getting out.  My lawyer told me: “Depending on what we can get the State to drop, I think I can get you five to fifteen years.  It’s a good deal.  Take it.”

I went back to my cell and came to terms with my alcoholism. 

You know, 2 weeks later when he came back and told me the State had dropped ALL charges, I didn’t even ask why.

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The longest distance I’ve ever had to go was from my head to my heart.

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The first 6 months I was sober, I’d sit up against the wall and just grin!!! You people couldn’t figure out what I was thinking.  I was just so damn glad to be sober!

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You never have to get off that Pink Cloud.  But watch out for the turbulence!

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When I got here you told me if I wiped the tables it would keep me sober.  So before and after every meeting I’d wipe down all the tables.  You people thought I was doing it because I was nice, but you see, I was getting something out of it!

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You can do anything Sober that you did Drinking.  You just have to be willing to pay the consequences!

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I went to jail 3 times my first 6 months sober.  Finally, someone told me: “If you quit breaking the law, you’ll quit going to jail!”  That was a CONCEPT for me!

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It says in the Big Book: “After all, our problems were of our own making.’  I’m here to tell you: ALL my problems are of my own making!

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God is always on my mind!  I mean to tell you! Even when I’m doing wrong…. God is on my mind!

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I quit drinking and doing drugs and breaking the law… Hell, the only vices I’ve got left are caffeine, nicotine, and Christine!

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I’m not a Saint, but I’m THaaat close!

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I found someone who “had what I wanted“: a nice truck and a beautiful wife.  I asked him to be my sponsor.

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It took me 48 hours to work the steps.  But it took 16 months to get in enough pain to ask for help.

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I’ve never asked God to remove my desire for cigarettes for one simple reason: I know he’ll do it!

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My sponsor told me: “Get into as many relationships as you want! I know you’re not going to drink over it, and you’ll learn something from every one of them.

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My sponsor told me: “Get ’em while they’re still shaking!  It’s less work, and if you wait ’till they work the steps, they’ll be too well for YOU!”

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I’m not a Big Book thumper, but I’m THaaat close!

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This Roofer has a cameo appearance in the following posts:

https://asjimseesit.wordpress.com/2010/04/21/how-to-stay-sober/

https://asjimseesit.wordpress.com/2010/04/27/5-things-to-do-everyday/

https://asjimseesit.wordpress.com/2010/07/03/relationships-in-your-1st-year/

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This entry was posted in A.A. Characters, Big Book, Early Sobriety, Spirituality, War Stories. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Certain Roofer

  1. What a story teller you are…..JT, JB…….Two great story tellers indeed….

  2. AsJimSeesIt says:

    Hey, that Roofer’s words didn’t need any extra juice from me. I am just the faithful stenographer.

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